Calais to Slovenia

In our second year touring, we got a little more ambitious and visited France, Germany, The Czech Republic, Austria, Slovenia, Croatia and Italy!

6r6aoRHhD8 (1).png
We didn’t quite go where no van has gone before, but we didn’t do too badly! (Map courtesy of Google and Scribblemaps)


  1. Welcome Home – Meet the Jobsworths! – how we model guests were evicted!
  2. Vacationing in Verwood – we model guests continue by putting our host in hospital…
  3. Too Much Cock? A Wiggle to Wellington – a double entendre; & it’s HUGE!
  4. A Slice of Lancashire Life – a doggy drama & a dental departure!


  1. Operation Overload – A Caravan Catastrophe! – Axl Rows & a delayed departure!
  2. Fandangles in France – High Drama on the High Seas! – an ‘Optimism’ of octogenarian windsurfers requires rescue!
  3. “Auray or Bust” – An Exercise in Combative Cycling for 80-Year Olds! – pedal with pensioners & see if you too can get into a fight!
  4. Break for the Border; 1st Stop – Radon, Normandy. – boys behaving badly & creepy crevettes convince us that there is a French word for ‘entrepreneur’!
  5. Break for the Border – NE France; Sézanne to Vilsberg – want to experience adrenaline? Drive a large caravan around Paris!


  1. Vilsberg to Heidelberg – Tales of the Unexpected in Germany – we cross the Rhine into a land of traffic jams, disregard of H&S and flexibility with rules!
  2. Don’t Try to Park a Van in Heidelberg – Planck and Scotty disagree on ‘Ye cannae change the laws of Physics.’ But Physics still dictates that you can’t park a van!
  3. Heidelberg – Uffenheim – Ferry Across the Neckar! – take your caravan rafting!
  4. A Fairytale of Rothenburg ob der Tauber – GOB – Get Onyer Bucketlist! 
  5. Dog on the Rhine – Bacharach;
    1. Ein Scheißtag, Campsite Sonnenstrand, Bacharach – a bad day that started badly, went badly – & then got worse!
    2. A Quick Way to Get Schlossed! wine walks, wine tastings & a rundtour!
    3. Ohhhhhhh-ning! – “I’ll have it back up in half an hour!” he said. I was not so sure…
  6. “Frankly my Dear…” – A DAM BIG SURPRISE at Edersee National Park
  7. “Dogs Off The Lead Vill Be Shot!” – Hainich National Park
  8. Pups on SUPs! Experiencing Nature & Discovering History in Saale-Unstrut
  9. The Colditz Story – you saw the film, played the game; now visit Oflag IV-C with us! 
  10. The Saxon Swiss National Park – GOB (Get Onyer Bucketlist!)
    1. Confessions of a Railway Addict – too much train – there IS such as thing!
    2. “Dogs Off The Lead Vill NOT be Shot! – a QUIET site & walk from Porchdorf.
    3. That’s Not The Way (to do it) – The Unconquered Fortress, The Home of Mr Punch & The Birth of Free Climbing.
    4. Social Shame, Storms & A Sitting! – sold out by my husband! 
    5. THE BIG WALK – Uttewalder Grund & Basteibrucke – a lost world – in more ways that one – as we take in the BEST sights in Saxon Switzerland.
    6. NAKED in the Polenztal – Our Last Walk in Saxon Switzerland
    7. Schmilka with Gurnot – A Lasting Memory of Saxon Switzerland

The Czech Republic

  1.  Czeching In to the Czech Republic – we head for Austria – but decide to turn left!
  2. South Bohemian Rhapsody – Český Krumlov – a medieval gem that should definitely be on your bucket list!


  1. There’s No Welcome in the Hillsides – Altausee, Austria. – how we got evicted from Austria!
  2. Camping Temel Altausee – A Musical Campsite Review – we wrote a song about it!


  1. Escape from Austria – to ‘The Most Beautiful River in the World’overtaken by a bicycle as we towed over the Predel Pass; one of the world’s ‘Dangerous Roads’!
  2. A Picturesque Pet Shop Run; Kranjska Gora, Triglav & The Vršič Passanother of the world’s Dangerous Roads. Even without a caravan, we still had trouble with a bike!
  3. Walks Into Our View – Soča River, Slovenia – two wrongs don’t make a right, but two rights do make a left… Lost again, heading up to a 1222m peak! 


  1. Krk Here, Star Date 11709.1 – we pitch up on the Island of Krk, Croatia at the end of the holiday-and-discount-dental-repair-season.
  2. Krk to Enterprise – & Naughty, Naked Nudity!inappropriate behaviour in the altogether!
  3. Can You Perfect a Pun at Punat? Island of Krk, Croatia – bad puns; its just how eye roll!


  1. On Garda! A Month in a Caravan at Torbole, Lake Garda – even getting there requires a caravan manoeuvring masterclass!
  2. The Best Anniversary Present EVER! Lake Garda – see how far Mark will go beyond the call of duty to declare his love…
  3. A Life Lesson Learned on a 3000ft Cliff – Via Ferrata Michielli Strobel – Mark & I go for a daunting dangle in the Dolomites!
  4. A Gad on Garda – ‘The Functional Walk’ along the Sarca River – we discover the secret behind Italian elegance!
  5. Gallivanting on Garda – A Few of the Fab Four’s Favourites! – Goethe & Galleons; a walk along a 4000-year old road.
  6. Zen and the Art of Caravan Maintenance – From Garda to Gressoney; we discover a fail safe approach to problem solving!
  7. Riots in Calais, Torrents on the Thames & The Long Drive Back to Long Pants – an uneventful journey home!

England Again

  1. Back in Britain; a Fidose of Reality – Part 1 – our home comings are never without incident – & this was the worst yet!
  2. Back in Britain; a Fidose of Reality – Part 2 – New Year, new start. But the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune were not done with us…!


Our 5 Minutes of Fame!

  1. World Wide Walkies ‘From Calais to Slovenia’ – featured by Eurotunnel Le Shuttle
  2. Dogs ‘n Dracula – Our Romance with Romania – featured by Dog Friendly Magazine